dashed.

April 19, 2011 at 3:42 am (Intro)

I’m really hurting right now.  My foot is really sore and I will be getting a hard cast later this week.  My foot has a stress fracture that needs to be taken care of.  Because my foot is what it is, the coordinator of our missions trip emailed the missionaries in Ecuador.  Factoring in the hard cast, the weather in Ecuador (rainy and muddy, but still hot), and everything else, I’m not going on this trip.  I am so heartsore about this.  Since October, my husband and I have been planning on this trip.  We’ve saved a whole lot of money, helped buy tons of supplies and props, gotten our passports, and really felt that this is what we are supposed to do.  Us, two other teachers, and 9 high schoolers, all serving over Easter break.  Now, I’m staying here.  I will be stuck at home since I will have a cast on my right foot so I won’t be able to drive.  I will be away from my husband for 8 days.  The longest we have gone without talking in 4 years in 1 day, one day, not a week or even three days.  I will be alone.  Right now I don’t care about the cast/crutches for 4 weeks or any of that. I’m so confused over why I was able to invest so much of myself in this trip just to find out 3 days before we leave that I cannot go.  The financial investment has been huge (between supplies, airfare, every for the two of us, it has cost us at least $4,700) but the emotional investment has been even more.  Bonding with students, practicing skits, planning, praying, fundraisers, everything.  My husband is still going, and I will be at home.  My heart is sore. stupid foot.

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Lord Prepare Me.

April 11, 2011 at 6:39 pm (life, teaching)

Work is going a bit rough right now and it’s getting stressful.  Instead of taking it out on the students who make be a large part of it, I’m trying to mentally sing the chorus of my favorite worship song:

                    Lord prepare me, To be a Sanctuary, Pure and holy, Tried and true.

                   With thanksgiving, I’ll be a living Sanctuary for you.

I just let this run through my head.  It’s been running a lot lately!  I’m mentally singing it when students act up, tardies accumulate, directions are ignored, coworkers or administrators are vague, parents don’t respond, halls are loud, or even just when my foot hurts.  Lately it feels as though it’s the only thing keeping me sane.  This is my way of leaning on God right now.

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