Worst week ever

August 9, 2011 at 2:05 am (Baby Ducky, family, life) (, )

Last week was the hardest week of my life.  As you know, Wyatt and I have been super excited about becoming parents in March.  Well, on Monday, the doctor noticed some problems, and said be prepared for the worse possible scenario.    On Friday we had a check-up and were told that at our 9 ½ weeks, our little baby only measured 6 ½ weeks and there was no longer a heartbeat.  Friday evening I had a miscarriage.  To start a day pregnant and to end it not pregnant is agony.

We had the option to use a surgical procedure or pills to help my body finish the process.  Using the pills and feeling the pain as my body ended my pregnancy was the hardest thing that I have ever done.  I am blessed to have a husband who was supportive and understanding.  Our Friday  night was filled with the heartache of knowing that this little person that we had fallen in love with in such a short month would never be in our arms. We had begun to look at nursery items and seriously consider names, planning on a future with our Little One, when we were told that through no fault of our own, we wouldn’t have that time.

My husband and I have been blessed to have supportive friends and family. We got together with some of the women from our church on Saturday, and they were an absolute blessing, letting me talk about how hard Friday was.  On Sunday, our church family prayed with us
and we received hugs, love, and prayers.
I feel like we are healing, but I know it is going to be a long road
before we are there.  I read that having a miscarriage takes away the innocent excitement of pregnancy, and I can already feel that.  We have discussed when we will be able to try again, and even though we know it will be a few months before we are physically ready, I don’t know if emotionally we will be ready.  Last week,  as we prepared for the possibility of losing our baby and then dealing with the reality of it, we were comforted by the fact that God will be there with us through all that we are dealing with.  It’s truly been a time of leaning of Him and trusting that He knows what is best for us.

At one point Friday night, I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor, in pain despite the medicine, and hurting.  Wyatt was sitting in the hall, trying to be with me and supportive.  I remembered the hymn that comforted me when my dad has his heart attack, when work got absolutely overwhelming, and whenever life hurts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEliTT3y0to

There is just something about the lyrics that calms my heart and reminds who is truly in charge.  While we will never know why God chose for our baby to be at home with him instead of here with us, I know that we will get to see our baby someday.

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3 Comments

  1. sally said,

    so sorry to read this.. 😦 have you ever read “heaven is for real”– there’s a part in there that totally made me cry– it was a really encouraging book and easy to read. check it out. Blessings to you~~

    • maisymay said,

      I read it a week after our miscarriage. it was really hard, but I know exactly which part you are talking about. 🙂

  2. sally said,

    🙂 i was crying buckets at that part!! like the ugly, catch your breath kind.. hahaha!

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