November 24, 2011 at 11:55 am (Intro)

One of the sites that has been really helpful to my husband and I as we deal with the TTC journey has been   It’s a great tracking/charting website. Well, Hubs and I were looking at and checked out their facebook promos.  They are offering a full year membership for $24.95 via facebook.  We finally we ahead and bought it.  If you already have a membership, I think they’ll let you buy a new one and not start it until your current one is finished.  This price is actually cheaper than their typical 3 month package!  Normally we just use their free version, but for that price, a year’s membership we will have!


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Cool giveaways

November 22, 2011 at 3:34 pm (Intro)

I like to read Mandy’s blog at and today she had a post about an awesome giveaway.  For more details head over to her site!  The prize is a $100 gift card to  If I were to win, I would definitely use it at a spa in Palo Alto that I love but is insanely expensive.  Check it out!

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TTC Paranoia

November 22, 2011 at 11:11 am (Intro)

I have found that in the quest for having a baby, paranoia is an often found bedfellow.  Every symptom leaves you wondering “is this it? am I pregnant?”  This paranoia is what leads to testing way too soon, spending lots of time googling symptoms, and wondering/worrying.  Was that cramp me getting ready to start a new cycle or was it implantation cramping?   Indigestion for a week, hmmmmm?  Spotting a week after ovulation? Maybe it was ovulation bleeding or implantation bleeding or even a super early miscarriage.  All of these are things that have gone through my head at some point in the last two months.

Apparently the effort to achieve this:

 can also result in this:   Who knew?

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Working on it!

November 18, 2011 at 8:47 am (Intro)

My new job is going well!  It’s been a lot of work since it is a store that was moved and expanded just a few months ago.  This means that I have tons to do, but it also means that there many ways that I can offer suggestions and expand things.  For instance, I proposed yesterday that we start trying to sell discontinued dresses online as well as start a blog about our store.  I’m taking in my camera today so that I can take pictures and get some dresses posted.  Plus, I am going to see about finding a host for our blog.  I also need to call some customers to let them know when their gowns are shipping, place orders, and call some companies.  Sounds like a good day to me!

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My husband brought me flowers for Veteran’s Day

November 12, 2011 at 12:18 am (Intro)

and I am not a Veteran. My dad was though, and for some reason his being gone hits hardest on Veteran’s Day and July 4th. He was a man who was dedicated to his country. He served in the Navy during WWII and told me that if he could, he would have gone over to Afghanistan/Iraq (mind you he was already 81 when 9-11 happened). On October 7, 2006 he passed away due to complications from his asbestosis. He contracted asbestosis when he worked on the ships that were lined with asbestos. I am so blessed to have had the father that I had for the 20 years that I was blessed to have him.
On Veteran’s Day, I also pay tribute to both of my half-brothers, my Uncle Joe, several cousins, and my wonderful father-in-law. We are all so blessed by those who gave of their time, and even of their lives, defending our freedom.

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Memories in a box

November 11, 2011 at 3:35 am (Intro)

I may have done something a little nutty, but it made sense at the time. Two days before our miscarriage, when we knew that it was inevitable, I got a crazy notion that we had to buy our baby a teddy bear. I think part of me thought that if we bought such a toy, invested in what we were trying to grasp, it would make things all better. We had already purchased a sweet, soft baby blanket and a Ducky picture frame for the ultrasounds. We had a few other small things as well. Those few nights leading up to the miscarriage, the blanket stayed on our bed, near our pillows, and the teddy bear was right there too. It was about three weeks after the miscarriage that I was able to put them in our Ducky box.
Our Ducky box has been a big way that we’ve dealt with our grief. About a week after we miscarried, I went to Jo-Ann’s and bought a plain wooden box with a small clasp. I painted the whole thing white, and bought ribbon imprinted with ducks and bubbles.
When we felt ready, we gathered up what we had of Ducky’s stuff, and lovingly tucked it away. The box is in our bedroom, and will eventually be put into our closet, tucked away. It’s become something that we don’t truly see anymore, and I think that’s okay. It holds all of the things we bought for the baby we didn’t have, ultrasound pics, the blanket and teddy, and a few more items. It’s our little memory box.
We are the type of people who like to plan and prepare, and it was the same for the littlest baby that we were waiting on. I imagine that when we get pregnant again, it will be the same. We will cautiously gather up this and that for our munchkin to be. Instead of Ducky, our nickname for our newest being might be Squirrel or Sea Horse or even the ever popular Bean (probably not, I don’t like that one). As we collect a little of this and a little of that, we will remember what has happened before, but I know we’ll still gather up stuff. Shoudl the worst happen again, I imagine we will be like the rose bushes in the movie version of The Help, a little collection of memories in a tangible memory. Maybe that’s a little creepy, but it’s 2:30 a.m. and I’m feeling a little melancholy.
I guess that I just wanted to share one way that we’ve dealt with our grief.

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That petty green eyed monster

November 11, 2011 at 3:30 am (Intro)

I have a friend from college who is pregnant, no, that’s not right. I have 7 friends who are pregnant, and 24 friends who have a kiddo under the age of 1 1/2. Those are just based on my facebook friends (and I only have 153 of those as I am a little choosy about all that). This means that approximately 20% of my friends are pregnant or have little ones. In real life, it’s probably closer to 10% of the people I routinely interact with are either pregnant or have been recently, but still! Today a friend annouced that she and her husband are excited to welcome Baby 2 in June.
As I hear (read) announcements like this, I cannot help but feel that petty green eyed monster paying me a visit. I told my husband tonight that it hurts because it was supposed to be our turn. We even have one friend who is due two days after we were supposed to be due. As I see her update her status and post ultrasound pics, I have to hide it all. It hurts. About a week ago she posted her gender reveal, and I couldn’t help but think that it should be our turn to find out. It bothers me that, this side of Heaven, I won’t know if we lost our little girl or little boy. We had names picked out that just felt right, and we won’t know.
When the emerald pest pays me a visit, I turn to my husband to tell me that it’s okay. I post online about how not fair it all feels, and through it all, I wish a healthy pregnancy to all of them. Our hearts broke that August 4th night as we lost what we so desperately wanted to keep, and I would pray that nobody has to feel that way. We really are truly happy for our friends; we just wish we were celebrating too.

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My working means good things for Hubs

November 9, 2011 at 7:13 pm (Intro)

Now that I am back at work, Hubs is delighted because I am making yummy foods on my day off. Yesterday and today were my first days off and last night for dinner I served chicked cordon bleu with stuffing, and tonight we’re going to have cheese tortollini with shrimp and cashews in a cream pesto sauce. I think it sounds positively delicious. Mind you, this is only happening on my days off. When Hubs is off and I work, it’s either frozen pizza or whatever Hubs makes, potentially frozen.

We’ve also started our Wilton’s Basics cake decorating class at the local Jo-Ann’s. Hubs is the only guy in the class of 10, and all of the other women think that he is “so cute” and “so sweet” for taking the class with me. I try to explain that he signed us up, but oh well. This week we practiced making stars and were told how to make the perfect cake. We got to practice on cookies that we brought. Next week we have to bring an unfrosted cake and some different frostings and will get to put it all together. i’ve spent some time researching sugar-free frostings, and I think I found a good recipe. It was the only one that looked like the frosting would be thick enough to decorate with. Next I have to decide if I want to make a sugar-free cake. It would be so much easier to make the box cake, plus if Hubs and I use a box mix, we can just split it, whereas if we do sugar-free, he’ll probably have to make his own cake. Wait, that’s probably a good thing…..I’ll let you know what we decide.

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Secret Languages and Strange Journies

November 8, 2011 at 11:37 am (Intro)

I know a secret language. I share it with a bunch of other ladies, of all ages, from all over the world. The very language is full of happy and sad words like any other language, and it’s a language that most hope to only use for a short while. It’s the language of TTC. (see, I’m using it already).

Before we wed, I found a website called that had a lot of useful wedding stuff, and though out wedding was nearly 2 years ago, I still spend time there. Earlier this year it was announced that the creative lady who founded that website was setting up another one called, but nobody would say what it was about. Readers were invited to “like” it on facebook, and an announcement would come in September. In October I was invited to beta test hellobee, and it turns out that it was a site about pregnancy and child-rearing. Perfect timing!

That secret language that I am referencing is directly correlated to hellobee. As many of you have read, however many of you there are, Hubs and I would like a kiddo, and hellobee is where I go to talk about how that’s going. The women, and one awesome man, have helped me deal with a lot of the emotions from the miscarriage, have gotten excited during our TWW, and agreed that it’s okay to want to scream when AF shows up again. As Hubs and I keep on trying, I am going to try to chronicle that journey here. Y’all listened as I talked about our lost Ducky, and now we are going to try for a little monkey or seahorse or something, and you’ll see a lot of my new secret language, so I’m going to give you a little list to fill you in. Welcome to our journey; let’s pray it’s a short one.

I won’t use a lot of abbreviations, but here are some that might show up:

TTC = trying to conceive
TWW = two week wait (time pre-period where you don’t know if you’re pregnant)
AF= aunt flo, period
BFP, BFN = big fat positive, negative (pregnancy test results)
NFP/FAM = natural family planning/fertility awareness method – how we’re trying
BBT = basal body temperature – part of charting
MC = miscarriage
HPT = home pregnancy test
O = Ovulation
LP = Luteal Phase, time between ovulation and starting a new cycle

Anchor’s away and here we go!

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I am thankful.

November 7, 2011 at 2:31 am (Intro)

I am thankful for a new job that I really enjoy, with growing responsibilities.
I am thankful for a husband who loves me even when I am mad at him.
I am thankful for a place to vent, yell, scream, blog, whatever I need.
I am thankful for a wonderful set of in-laws who love me.
I am thankful good friends.
I am thankful for food, clothing, shelter.
I am thankful for a God who provides me with mercy, grace, and love, although none are deserved. I am so thankful that He doesn’t give me what I deserve.

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