watering tomatoes

March 30, 2012 at 11:10 pm (Intro)

Me – Babe, you need to water your tomato plant.

Hubs – How much water do I put in?

Me- About a cup. But first get a bbq skewer to see how damp the soil is.  Put it in the pot and let it sit for a minute. Come in and I’ll tell you what else to do.

Hubs – Okay. I put the stick in and put my timer on (???) . Now what?

Me- Go into the kitchen and get a full sized glass. You want to fill it with cold water from the fridge, not from the tap.

Hubs – Now what?

Me – Bring the water over here. (He hands me the water, which I promptly drink)

Hubs – But I thought that was supposed to go in the plant!

Me- No, that was for me. Tap water is fine for the plant, but you should give it about the same amount!

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8 ways to increase fertility

March 27, 2012 at 11:56 am (Intro) (, , )

As we start yet another cycle of not being pregnant, I wanted to do some research into what we might be able to do to increase our odds. Webmd.com had a good article that got copied on other sites so I thought that would be a good one to go over with my husband.  You can find the article at: http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/8-ways-to-boost-your-fertility.  It’s definitely not from the Mayo Clinic, but there were some interesting points.

1. The article said that women who are overweight may take twice as long to get pregnant, and women who are underweight make take four times as long!  I have always struggled with my weight, and we do know that this is an area we need to work on. We’ve recently purchased a bicycle (that my husband still can’t figure out how to ride!) and are working on eating healthier together. When I was pregnant, pre-miscarriage, I followed a heavily defined diabetic eating plan and I struggled because it was very restrictive.  Hubs and I have talked about both of us going to back to that sort of a plan, with a few modifications.

2. I found it interesting that the article was all for limiting hot tub and hot bath use in men, but it felt that boxers vs. briefs was an old wives tale and that the laptops on laps was inconclusive.  Apparently the issue is genital warmth and making sure the sperm stay healthy.  When Hubs and I discussed this, he decided to alternate between boxers and boxer-briefs. I bought us a laptop desk that provides some protection and if we are watching a television episode, I’ll put the laptop on my legs instead of his lap.  We also only go hot tubbing once a month or less.  The article did mention a concern about men who keep their cell phones in their pants pockets, but I’m not sure if we’ll address that.

3. Too much alcohol and caffeine can be a bad thing.  Okay.   We may drink one or two bottles of wine a month and neither of us are coffee drinkers, so this didn’t seem to be a place where we had any concerns.  I drink maybe 1-2 sodas a week if we eat out, and even then I normally have iced tea. Hubs drinks even less soda than I do.

4. People who want to get pregnant shouldn’t smoke. In men, smoking reduces sperm count and motility; women who smoke may have issues with the uterus creating a healthy environment for the egg.   Neither Hubs or I light up and we try to not spend much time in surroundings that expose us to second-hand smoke. 

5. One caution the article had was for couples who wait until ovulation day. Instead, it recommends keeping track of your cycle to the point where you can start having sex consistently a few days before you ovulate.  It did compare studies of couples who were intimate every day versus every other day and found that there was only a small difference between the resulting number of pregnancies, but that the stress of sex every day was a challenge for many couples.  Hubs and I have tried both approaches and have found that every other day does work better for us.  If you are trying every day it can make something that is supposed to be fun into a chore and that’s not how we want to treat sex and intimacy.

6. Apparently most commonly sold lubricants contain some degree of spermicide.  The best types of lubricants to use are those that contain no spermicide and are oil based. The article actually recommended using canola or peanut oil, straight from the kitchen. We don’t normally need lubricant, but if we do, we have a small bottle of KY that has lasted for quite a while.  Usually we are fine with what our bodies produce.  On man mentioned in this part of the article actually used soap! Ouch!!! His poor partner!

7 and 8.  Depending on the industry in which you work or spend time, there may be harmful toxins.  Men or women who work around pesticides and women who work around dry-cleaning chemicals may have difficulties getting pregnant.  Although Hubs works for a dry-cleaner, he does their sales training and driving and isn’t exposed to any of the chemicals, plus his work is an all-natural cleaner, so we shouldn’t have any problems there.   I work at a bridal salon, so I’m guessing that I’m safe. 

All in all, it was an interesting article to look at in regards to boosting fertility.  It sounds like Hubs and I are definitely on the right path and primarily need to focus on eating healthy and me losing weight.  Being diabetic means that I need to focus on that regardless, so it looks like I know where we’ve got to work!

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Yes, No, Wait

March 26, 2012 at 10:27 pm (Intro)

I know that God knows all that we are going through. I know that He is a loving God who cares for us and cradles us when we weep, but sometimes I just don’t understand.  Why is it taking so long for my husband and I to get pregnant?  What do we need to do to have a child?   I comfort myself by saying that “God knows the cares of our heart” and “He’ll give us our hearts’ desire,” but when each cycle ends and a new one begins, the pain adds.  I think about the names of God, how he is Healer, Provider, Savior, our Keeper, our Fortress, a Rock, and I just wish that He would give us the one thing we want more than anything.

Sometimes it frustrates me that we try with no success, but I am reminded that every prayer is answered with “Yes,” “No,” or “Wait” and wait is the hardest answer to hear.  Like most people, I love hearing “Yes” because it means that I get what I want.  I can even handle hearing “No” because it means that I can adjust what I want and move on. But “Wait” is the one that makes me shake my head. For me “Wait” is hard because it’s out of my control.  It’s the answer that takes the longest to understand, the longest to see, and the one that I am least likely to want to hear.

As I start a new cycle, all I can do now is Wait, and hope and pray that this is our month.  If this month isn’t our month, then we may be facing a pretty big decision, and it may be one that means we won’t be starting a family for far longer than planned. I pray that we don’t have to wait much longer.

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Things that make me feel like crying…

March 25, 2012 at 9:46 am (Intro)

Things that make me feel like crying…

– Temperature dips around 11 DPO

– Cramps

– Waking up along (Hubs out of town, back today)

– Knowing that this week has 5 straight day of work, next week has 6 and there’s only one day off in between

– Having feet hurt this morning because yesterday was such a long day at work

– being short half of my staff due to sickness and family emergency

– Feeling like we’ll never get pregnant again

– Pouring rain

– Knowing that if this next cycle isn’t successful, we may have to wait a few years

Things that make me feel better:

– Watching hummingbirds and crows play outside my balcony window

– A queen sized bed full of pillows

– 9 cozy hours of sleep

– Knowing one of my coworkers will be in today even though she was sick yesterday

– Being blessed to have insurance through the end of the year

– Having my husband back tonight

– Covered parking for last night since Hubs wasn’t home

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Respect Vs. Love

March 21, 2012 at 11:43 pm (Intro)

Ephesians 5:25-28

 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Proverbs 21:19 ESV /

It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.

Proverbs 12:4ESV /

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 31:10-12ESV /

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

These verses come from Biblegateway.com and bibleinfoshare.com and are just a quick selection of some of what the Bible has to say about marriage. 

Hubs and I went out of town yesterday morning, and last night some pretty disrespectful stuff happened.  I’m not going in to details, but I will tell you that I spent a 4 hour drive musing over the idea that women should respect their husbands and that husbands ought to love their wives, and that it isn’t always easy.  I think that the verbs in these two phrases are very telling: respect vs. love.

I don’t remember where I read it, but I once read a survey that said that nearly 75% of men would choose to be respected over being loved.  I thought that this was astounding, but upon reflection, I realized that it very much lined up with the feelings of guys being the in charge providers that they are designed to be, the “alpha” partner in the marriage.  To most men, respect shows submission and love.

Women are different. We want to be loved. We want to feel important and cherished. It has to do with the fairy-tale princess in each of us.  If we feel loved then we are capable of doing most anything in the world.  A few years ago I read Captivating, a devotional about letting Christ romance you, and it was very eye-opening about how women yearn to be valued and taken care of. And, regardless of how independently minded we are, it’s true.

Along this very long drive home, I reached the conclusion that I have to show respect to my husband even if I do not currently feel loved. I’m not going a great job of it right now, but I know that it is something that I need to work on. This doesn’t mean that I will be a doormat or that everything is okay; rather, it means that I am willing to show respect to a man that I know is flawed (as are we all).  It will take time to heal from our “vacation” but it time we will be fine.  Between now and then though, I do have to respect my husband, even when I feel like he isn’t showing love to me.  It’s been a very strained day between us, but I still love him, and the best way for me to show that love is through respecting him.  

P.S. Sorry if this is disjointed, it’s more of a “words tumbling out after a vague sense of mental organization” than a “well thought out post espousing roles within marriage.” 

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Today was supposed to be our due date

March 13, 2012 at 12:14 pm (Intro)

As March has been humming along, I’ve been dreading today.  Today was supposed to be our due date for Ducky, and I’ve been feeling sad about it for the last few days. On Sunday I left worship at church because it was getting to be too much, teary eyed and hurting, seeking refuge in the nursery of all places (two friends were there, one who is having fertility issues). I have no doubt that God has a plan for us, but it’s hard not knowing what that plan is.  I know that Hubs and I are so blessed to be in good health (relatively) and to be comfortable financially, but it feels like there is this hole that is just waiting to be filled.  We’re doing everything that we can, and I cannot help but wonder why it isn’t our turn.

Sorry for the depressing update. I do have more interesting blogs planned, just not today.

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