At Hairspray

June 27, 2012 at 2:46 pm (Intro)

At Hairspray

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I think that I might be dealing with depression again.

June 27, 2012 at 11:36 am (Intro)

I’m tired even though I have an extra day off each week.

Monitoring my blood sugar and eating right feels pointless but I still do it and get good numbers.

I have no motivation to do anything.

Work is stressing me out. 

Little things get to me, such as telling Hubs I needed to feel like he was more into finding out what stuff we want to use with Baby but then getting irritated and feeling neglected when he spent 1 1/2 hours researching bottles on Consumer Reports.

I’m not as interested in other stuff any more.  It feels like all that I want to do is sit on the couch.

I dealt with depression last year after our miscarriage. In the span of less than 2 months I lost my job, had a miscarriage, had an ear infection that landed me in the hospital and then on the couch for 2 weeks because I couldn’t work due to a med I was still on.  When Hubs talks about how he’d like me to be able to be a SAHM if I want, all that I do is remind him that I don’t do well home alone all day. 

Part of me feels like the depression may be coming back again, but during pregnancy.  This isn’t good.

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Checking in as we move into round 2!

June 18, 2012 at 9:48 am (Intro)

As of yesterday we have hit the second trimester (cue trumpets and general fanfare please!)!  I’ve read that our chances of anything major going wrong, like a miscarriage, has dropped to less than one percent.  Those are odds that I am definitely comfortable with!

So what’s going on?

  • Baby – Baby is somewhere around the size of a lime, which means that Hubs has been singing “You put the lime in the coconut” for the last 2 days, love him, but he’s kinda odd some days.  We’ve had our 6th ultrasound, with at least a dozen more to go before we meet our little one.  This last ultrasound gave us a story that nobody has heard of before: Snoopy was literally standing up and jumping around to the point that the doctor couldn’t get a clear photo for us!  We’re going to have a very active little baby.  🙂   Also, baby actually looks like a baby now.  The random blob pictures are over and from here on out we’ll be seeing more and more actual baby-ness.
  • Baby’s Stuff – We still haven’t made any purchases for Snoopy beyond the teddy bear mentioned last post and now a book that I bought for Hubs to celebrate his first Father’s Day (Love You Forever).  We have, however, picked out the crib that we want, and started really focusing on pack’n’plays.  We spend at least one weekend a month with Hubs’ parents, so we’re hoping that they will let us store a pack’n’play at their place for when we visit and Snoopy needs a nap, needs to be changed, needs a place to play.  They are very accomodating so I don’t see this as being a problem.  Also, we’re going to work on starting a registry in the next month or so.
  • Us – Every day I find something else that I adore about my husband.  Some days it’s the fact that I get home at 8 p.m., fall asleep on the couch until he hands me a plate of food for dinner, and then am wide awake for about 2 more hours.  Last night, just before he fell asleep, I cuddled up close and told him how much I appreciate everything that he has done for us, little things like taking out the garbage, to bigger things, like being okay if a girlfriend of mine comes over for a sleepover (she’s 6 weeks further along than I am) and being willing to give up his side of the bed so she wouldn’t have to sleep on the couch.  I am so very blessed to have him in my life. In regards to physical intimacy, it’s still a struggle, but it happens about 2-3 times every 2 weeks.  Mental and emotional intimacy is much more frequent right now.
  • Me – I’m still exhausted and throwing up every morning and night when I brush my teeth, but that’s okay.  I’ve spoken with my boss and we’re going to have me work just 4 days a week starting this week. I am so excited about being done with work today (in about 9 hours) and knowing that I won’t have to go in for 2 full days.  I’ve lost at least 7 pounds and the doctors are really excited about that. The plan is for me to not gain any weight, or if I do, not to exceed my pre-pregnancy weight.  I’m okay with that.

Life is good. God is blessing us so abundantly right now and it is absolutely wonderful what he is doing in our lives!

P.S. For fun, check out these maternity t-shirts!  I won’t pay $30 for a tee, but there are some here that I am so tempted by!!!  http://www.cafepress.com/+funny+womens-maternity

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I love where I live!

June 2, 2012 at 5:43 pm (Intro)

 Right now I feel horrible!  For the first time in 6 months, I left work sick, feeling absolutely miserable, really bad cramps, lots of nausea, indigestion, rhinitis, everything that tells me that I am still in the first trimester of pregnancy.  I’m sitting on the couch, watching old episodes of In Plain Sight.  Please don’t think that I am complaining, just setting the background. 

Even though I feel horrid, I am enjoying a beautiful day.  There are two redwood trees outside my apartment, swaying in the breeze that is keeping today from being insanely hot.  Looking up through them, I can see a flawless blue sky.  Across the street is a large pond full of ducks and geese, edged with a walking path and two playgrounds.  People routinely walk their dogs there and stroll with their babies in their strollers.  An active, family-centric downtown in a 15 minute stroll away, complete with an even bigger playground, music festivals, yummy restaurants, farmer’s markets, antique fairs, 4th of July parades and more events. 

My husband and I are so blessed to live where we live. Yes, our apartment is just a one-bedroom and we probably won’t upgrade until baby is about 6 months old, meaning that s/he will be sleeping in our room.  Yes, the neighbors below us sometimes play loud video games and smoke recreationally.  Yes, we live 30 minutes away from church, and 30 minutes in the other direction work, but we love it here!

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