I Love (daddy)

January 28, 2013 at 10:20 am (Intro)

This little girl has been such a blessing to Hubs and I. Today A is 5 weeks old, 21 1/2 inches long, and I’m afraid to weight her but I’m sure she’s over 9 pounds. Most nights she wakes up twice, around 1 or 2 a.m. and again around 5. She’s been eating approximately 4 ounces a feeding, sometimes a little more. The last several days she has eaten between 32-36 ounces a day…quite a little piggy. She’s much more active lately, but has been very well behaved out and about. Yesterday she slept during church and lunch afterwards. Once we got her home, she ate, had a diaper change, and all 3 of us napped for a few hours.

Certain parts of being a parent are easier than I thought, but others are so much harder! The sleep loss isn’t a big deal, and she doesn’t cry a lot, but when she does, I feel helpless if I can’t get her consoled within a few minutes. Also, pumping is hard, and sometimes it hurts. I don’t make enough for her to just have milk, so we supplement with formula.

I love this little bug!


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Mental Health and Maternity Leave

January 19, 2013 at 6:47 pm (Intro)

I’m realizing that even though I only have a few weeks of maternity leave left, I still need to make sure to take care of my mental health.  Staying home with an infant all of the time isn’t easy, especially if you are an extrovert.  I enjoy my job, and miss working with people, interacting with adults. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my little girl, but that doesn’t mean that this is easy, or fun.  I do like the naps though.

     My solution is making sure that Hubs gets some time with LO while I get out of the house.  This means letting him take care of an evening while I go do errands or just get out. Today is Saturday and Hubs is finally on his way home.  He ended up logging over 50 hours of work this week, leaving home while it was still dark and getting home after dark each day.  When he does get home tonight, I will be changing out of my pajamas, putting on real clothes, and going to Home Depot and Jo-ann’s.  I’ll probably grab dinner with just myself and a book or else spend some time reading at Starbucks. 

   Also, LO isn’t nursing, rather I pump and then we bottle feed.  On nights when Hubs doesn’t have to work the next day, he’s supposed to be responsible for all of LO’s feeds.  He doesn’t normally do both of them though.  I hear her wake up and there are times when it’s just easier for me to do it, especially if it’s the 2 a.m. feeding when I need to pump again.  At least having him take one of the feedings is better than none.

   I’m quickly learning that as a mom, you have to find ways to take care of yourself, in whatever ways you can.  I need at least a few hours a week to myself.  I also need to go back to work, but I have to wait at least a few more weeks for that.  I’ll probably go back at 7 weeks postpartum. She’s worth it though!Image

She’ll be 4 weeks on Monday!


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How blessed I am!

January 9, 2013 at 12:13 pm (Intro)

How blessed I am!

I took this two days ago, when LO was 14 days old. She’d been awake for 4 hours and didn’t want to take a nap, even though Mommy desperately needed one!

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Lyrics and thoughts

January 9, 2013 at 12:08 pm (Intro) (, )

Read some sweet song lyrics today, based on a post on hellobee.  It made me think about how lucky I am to have my little girl.  I’m not an Ani DiFranco fan, but these really touched me. How can I judge my appearence, complain about looks, when I was given this treasure to take care of?


Lately I’ve been glaring into mirrors picking myself apart
You’d think at my age I’d thought of something better to do
Than making insecurity into a full time job
Making insecurity into an art
And I fear my life will be over
And I will have never lived in unfettered
Always glaring into mirrors
Mad, I don’t look better
But now here is this tiny baby
And they say she looks just like me
And she is smiling at me with that present infant glee
Yes, and I would defend to the ends of the earth
Her perfect right to be, be, be, be
So I’m beginning to see some problems
With the ongoing work of my mind
And I’ve got myself a new mantra
It says don’t forget to have a good time
Don’t let the sellers of stuff power enough to rob you of your grace
Love is all over the place
There’s nothing wrong with your face
Love is all over the place
There’s nothing wrong with your face

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Weights and Measures

January 4, 2013 at 4:47 pm (Intro)

I need to brag just a little bit!

I am 11 days postpartum, and I am happy with my weight…for once! 

I’ve always had weight issues; since childhood I’ve been heavy.  Without going into specific numbers, I was way too heavy, but nothing much was done about it.  My sophomore year of high school, my mom, sister, and I joined Curves but that only lasted a few months.  During that time, my weight dropped down to a point where the middle digit was a 5. That’s the only number I’m giving you. 🙂

Between college and three years of marriage, I reached my heaviest, about 15 pounds heavier than my sophomore year of high school.  That’s where I was when I started this pregnancy.

As soon as I found out that I was pregnant, I started on a diabetic diet and over the first half of the pregnancy, I lost 12 pounds and then slowly gained a total of 16. This meant that at delivery, I weighed 4 pounds more than my pre-pregnancy weight.  I thought I’d step on a scale today, 11 days post-partum, just to see what the scale said.  The last time I stepped on this scale I started crying because it was really far off (almost 10 pounds heavier than what the doc’s scale said a day later). Today that same persnickety scale said that I was at my lightest pregnancy weight…the same as my sophomore year of high school!  When we take baby to her 2 week appointment on Tuesday, I may ask to hop on their scale, but regardless of the number it reads, I’m already happy with my weight. And I don’t say that lightly!


Pumping is a good thing!

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Expectations, labor, and an early present!

January 1, 2013 at 5:52 am (Intro) (, , )


BabyMaisy joined us December 24 at 11:42 a.m. She was 19” long and weighed 7 lbs 3.3 oz.  Labor lasted nearly 38 hours, but wasn’t bad. It was definitely a lesson in going with the flow and dealing with the unexpected.

I would hazard to say that every woman who is pregnant has expectations about how her labor ought to go, be it med-free, with a midwife, epidural, c-section, there are some expectations. I was no different.  Being a diabetic, my doctor was very upfront with me during the entire pregnancy, telling me that we will induce by 39 weeks at the absolute latest, 38 weeks more likely. He also said that at least 60% of his diabetic patients who were induced had c-sections.  I was okay with that.

Being a twin, and married to a twin, both of our moms had c-sections. They talked about recovery times, and DH’s mom who had a vag birth and a c-section extolled the virtues of a c-section, talking about how much easier the recovery and how much simpler everything was.  Between my doctors and our moms, DH and I went into the labor process figuring that we would end up with a c-section, and did all of our research around that idea.

Moving towards December, my diabetes was so well controlled that the doctor was comfortable scheduling our induction at 38w6d.  We were told to call in to the hospital on Saturday at 5 to verify they had room for us.  When Saturday, December 22 rolled around, everything revolved around that 5 p.m. call. DH and I would look at each other and laugh, saying “only 2 more hours” throughout the day.  Imagine my disappointment when we call in and are told, eat some dinner, take a shower, don’t come in until 7.  But I wanted to go in then!  We did as we were told and my mom made it into town in time to drive to the hospital with us. 

We were checked in and settled into our room by 8 p.m.  Nurses placed us on a monitor, much like the twice a week Non-Stress Tests I’d been having.  The doctor came in at 9:30 and did an internal exam.  She initially said that we weren’t dilated at all, but changed that to “Well, I can kinda fit one finger, so we’ll say 1cm.” She also agitated my cervix while down there. I was give 50 micrograms of misoprostol, orally, and told that we’ll check in four hours.  My blood sugars were acting up (don’t eat barbecue right before your induction!) so I had to be on an insulin drip. This also meant staying hooked up to monitors except for bathroom visits, and having my blood sugar checked every hour.

2 a.m. was the first check, and the monitors showed that I had started contracting, but they were irregular and light.  Add another dose of misoprostol, 100 micrograms.  6 a.m. showed contractions that were more regular, but still light so another 100 micrograms of misoprostol. 10 a.m. was more of the same, saying that if things were still regular at 2 p.m. we might be able to start Pitocin.  At the 2 p.m. check, we weren’t able to start Pitocin because I hadn’t dilated beyond the initial 1 cm, so the decision was made to use a Folley catheter to stir things along.  Essentially a thin tube is inserted into the cervix and a balloon is blown up on the end.  When you are 3-4 cms dilated, the catheter will fall out.

My in-laws arrived right after I was given the catheter and a nice dose of morphine to encourage rest.  They all watched a movie and I added my own loopy comments as I dozed. I really woke up a few hours later, in time to boot out all of my company to go get dinner while I ate too.  My in-laws and mom left around 10 p.m. and at 10:30 the catheter fell out.  Now we were getting somewhere!

The morphine completely wore off at 11p.m. and I held off on the epidural until 1 a.m. 4 units of Pitocin were added to the mix at midnight, and at 2:30 they broke my waters. Pitocin was turned down to 2, and then turned off. Also, all external monitors were removed and internal monitors were placed. By 6 a.m. contractions were strong and just 2 ½ minutes apart, so we called our families and told them to be at the hospital by 10:30.  Another check at 9 a.m. showed us to be 9 cm dilated and baby was in place, so we recalled family and set to get on their way! Pitocin was turned back on low, just to keep things moving.

My mom and in-laws arrived by 10:30, and a check at 10:50 told us that it was go time, so they were kicked out.  The bed was adjusted and doctors notified; pushing began at 11:10 and LO arrived at 11:42 a.m.  I suffered a second degree tear that was mended with one stitch.  It was a vaginal birth, unlike the c-section I was expecting.  And I cannot tell you how proud I felt being able to push her out!

It was around 6 a.m. that it really dawned on us that we probably weren’t going to need a c-section.  Labor was progressing and everything looked good. A few times baby’s heartbeat would fall with the contractions, but an internal monitor showed us that it was because the contractions were a lot stronger than we thought. When they asked me to rank them on a scale of 1-10, I was telling them 2-3; apparently I have a pretty high pain threshold! 

Even though I went in to labor expecting one thing and ended up with the exact opposite, I was very much okay with that. Throughout the entire pregnancy, our attitude has been “whatever it takes to give us a healthy baby.” This included copious doctor’s appointments, lab work and tests. It included IVs in both hands, pills and Pitocin, a c-section if needed, and now that baby is here it includes feeding her however she’ll take the food!   Parenthood has already been the adventure of a lifetime, and we’re only 8 days in! 

Tonight, when LO was fussing, I found myself praying, telling God to help me to remember to be thankful for our little blessing, to remember that she is a gift from above, and that it is our job to treasure her and raise her up to follow God in all that she does.  It’s an awesome responsibility, one to not be taken lightly, and one to be cherished!

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