Not another one….

September 12, 2014 at 11:25 pm (life, Running) (, , , , )

Just to recap my last post, I am going to do 10 races in 1 year, May 2014 to May 2015. So far I have ran 5 (4 5k’s, 1 10k) and have 3 more 5’s scheduled.

Let’s make that 4 more scheduled.

Part of me realized that I didn’t have a race scheduled from the first weekend of September through the first weekend in October, and that just felt too long, so I scheduled one for next weekend, the same day that Hubs gets back from his week-long trip to Orlando.

My plan is to get up, go to San Francisco to race, hang out at the post-party, and then go pick up Hubs from the SFO airport. From there, we will be going down to the In-Laws to celebrate Hubs’ and his sister’s birthdays (Twins).

Yup, I’m a little nuts.

Nope, not going to feel even a pinch of sadness. This is going to be just what I need after a week of solo-parenting our toddler.

Anybody else just a little addicted to something?

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Hello Mommy

September 5, 2014 at 2:05 pm (family, life, toddler)

I know it’s been something like a year and a half since I have posted, and that probably nobody will ready this, and that’s okay.

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I’ve been thinking about parenting a lot. My little A is over 20 months, and we are already planning her second birthday party. No idea where that time has gone. Work is intense, with jobs lost and gained since I typed here last, and so many life changes. and that’s okay.

Here’s what’s on my heart right now.

The change from Momma to Mommy is sweet, but so sad as you realize it means that your little one is growing up.

For the Mom who sits on the train looking as though she’d pay the moon for a little more rest, it won’t last forever.

For the Daddy who has a toddler who only wants Mom when you are together, she’ll get over it, and be back to Daddy’s little girl soon.

For the parents who are dealing with a tantrum, followed by tears, and then another tantrum, you aren’t doing this wrong. It’s all a part of the age.

For the house that full of toys and discarded newspaper, and lots of laughs and giggles, it’s worth it.

For the thought that you can’t remember the last time you got more than 4-5 hours of sleep without an interruption, sleep will come.

For the toddler who wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, scared of the dark, Mommy and Daddy will always be there for you.

For the employers who overlook a lot of tired days and toddler stories, the littles do grow up.

It’s the realizing that “Choo” means “Shoe” and “Scheez” is “Cheese”, that “Goo” is “Goose” and “I Goo” means your toddler hears you when you tease and call her a goose, and is teasing you right back. It’s the 2 a.m. tears that calm when you cuddle. It’s the laughs and squeals and running the other way that show that your little girl isn’t such a baby anymore.

And it’s the dawning thought that this isn’t going to last forever, that this is flying by, and there’s nothing you would rather do more than love.

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If you haven’t ridden a bike in a while…

April 3, 2012 at 2:07 pm (family, Intro, life) (, , )

More like nearly 8 years!

We bought a bike that I can ride. Hubs is a little gravity challenged and isn’t doing so well….so I decided to ride my bike to the grocery store and farmer’s market today.  Here are 5 things I learned:

1) Don’t start by going up a hill. Even though it was fairly gradual, my lungs and legs hurt by the halfway point so I walked it the rest of the way up the hill. Riding after that was a little better.

2) Some cities are not bike friendly. I rode on the sidewalks which is a big no-no, but I didn’t trust the traffic.

3) Take a bag that carries enough but won’t be too heavy. I grabbed Hubs’ old backpack from high school and that was perfect.

4) Take water! By the time I got to Safeway (maybe a mile) I was dying!

5) Empty your pockets! I lost my keys after about 1/2 a mile. I heard them fall and was able to stop and pick them up, but just put everything in your bag.

Hubs and I went for a walk last night. Well, I walked, he ran; he’s crazy that way.  Today I road a bike for about 45 minutes. These are all good steps towards being healthy. A not so good step was eating bbq chips for breakfast. It made me feel like throwing up.  Note to self: don’t do that again.

I am now tired, but it’s the good sort of tired that tells you that you’ve accomplished something.

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Oh for a deep deep sleep.

August 12, 2011 at 6:26 pm (life) (, , )

I looked in the mirror yesterday for the first time in a few
days.  I was surprised with what I saw.  Now, I know that I am tired, but
where did these dark circles come from?  The edges of my face are a little swollen from the ear infections.  I have had no appetite lately, probably because eating hurts, and I am so slow at it.
My hair was gross because I haven’t showered in a few days out of fear
of getting my ears wet which probably led to the infections in the first place.  On the plus side, the spotting from the
miscarriage seems to have stopped.

I don’t know how much more I can take.  My ears hurt a lot, I am getting headaches, and my jaw hurts.  I am waking up multiple
times a night, which means I am perpetually exhausted.  I’ve been taking vicodin every 3-4 hours, and the pain doesn’t go away, it just gets duller.  My ears are plugged, creating a vacuum noise in both ears.  One ear is a little better, but the other is getting worse.   On an average night I sleep for about 3 hours at a time, usually waking between 11 and midnight, and again between 2 and 4.  It’s been over a week
since I’ve gotten a good night’s sleep.  I don’t feel rested.  Because I’m so tired, it makes everything else feel much worse.

All of this makes me feel bad for my husband. Lately, I feel
like he has to do so much for me, and he does it all without complaining, while putting in crazy hours at work.  Monday night he helped some friends move.  Tuesday I was out with some of the women and he took care of the house.  Wednesday he needed to return a movie and surprised me with a diet Snapple.  The last several nights he has come home to find me exhausted on the couch, a heating bad over one ear.  He’s done laundry while I was napping, loaded the dishwasher while I was asleep, paid bills while I was out of it, and generally just taken good care of me.  Right now I can tell you that I am so grateful for him.

I feel like I have been dealing with the physical issues with my ears that I haven’t had a chance to deal with the emotional aspects of
last weekend.  My darling husband told me that once we get this dealt with we will go away for a weekend.  I think we both need that, more than anything.  It doesn’t have to be an expensive hotel or a fancy destination, just a night or two away from everything here.  Oh to rest and get a break!  Although, I will probably just sleep most of the weekend.

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Worst week ever

August 9, 2011 at 2:05 am (Baby Ducky, family, life) (, )

Last week was the hardest week of my life.  As you know, Wyatt and I have been super excited about becoming parents in March.  Well, on Monday, the doctor noticed some problems, and said be prepared for the worse possible scenario.    On Friday we had a check-up and were told that at our 9 ½ weeks, our little baby only measured 6 ½ weeks and there was no longer a heartbeat.  Friday evening I had a miscarriage.  To start a day pregnant and to end it not pregnant is agony.

We had the option to use a surgical procedure or pills to help my body finish the process.  Using the pills and feeling the pain as my body ended my pregnancy was the hardest thing that I have ever done.  I am blessed to have a husband who was supportive and understanding.  Our Friday  night was filled with the heartache of knowing that this little person that we had fallen in love with in such a short month would never be in our arms. We had begun to look at nursery items and seriously consider names, planning on a future with our Little One, when we were told that through no fault of our own, we wouldn’t have that time.

My husband and I have been blessed to have supportive friends and family. We got together with some of the women from our church on Saturday, and they were an absolute blessing, letting me talk about how hard Friday was.  On Sunday, our church family prayed with us
and we received hugs, love, and prayers.
I feel like we are healing, but I know it is going to be a long road
before we are there.  I read that having a miscarriage takes away the innocent excitement of pregnancy, and I can already feel that.  We have discussed when we will be able to try again, and even though we know it will be a few months before we are physically ready, I don’t know if emotionally we will be ready.  Last week,  as we prepared for the possibility of losing our baby and then dealing with the reality of it, we were comforted by the fact that God will be there with us through all that we are dealing with.  It’s truly been a time of leaning of Him and trusting that He knows what is best for us.

At one point Friday night, I found myself sitting on the bathroom floor, in pain despite the medicine, and hurting.  Wyatt was sitting in the hall, trying to be with me and supportive.  I remembered the hymn that comforted me when my dad has his heart attack, when work got absolutely overwhelming, and whenever life hurts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEliTT3y0to

There is just something about the lyrics that calms my heart and reminds who is truly in charge.  While we will never know why God chose for our baby to be at home with him instead of here with us, I know that we will get to see our baby someday.

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Life’s Update

July 26, 2011 at 12:50 am (Baby Ducky, diabetes, life) (, , , )

I got to “meet” Ducky today.  We had our first ultrasound and got to see Ducky’s heartbeat.  The ultrasound nurse said that she only saw one baby but because we were measuring early we might find another (slim chances).  As you may not know, Hubs and I are both twins so this is something we’ve discussed.  She did find a cyst on one ovary, but the dr. she consulted with didn’t seem especially concerned, so we will watch it and hope it just disappears by itself.

Ducky is measuring smaller than expected, by a week and a half.  The ultrasound can be within a week (plus or minus) so we shouldn’t be concerned (according to the tech) but we are a little because we’ve used Natural Family Planning and so we know exactly which day I got pregnant, exactly when I ovulated.  We will have another ultrasound either at 19 weeks (which seems so far away!) or possibly in between since I am considered high risk.  I really hope that it is sooner so that we can get an eye on the cyst and hopefully move our due date back to when it should be (in my humble opinion).

I am so emotional lately.  I’m tired a lot and am really frustrated by not having my blood sugar under control.  I’m either meeting with the Diabetes Specialist in person or over the phone twice a week and each visit has us upping the dosage of insulin.  This is really hard for me because I am starting to feel like this is hopeless.  I know that I am making the best food choices and being smart, but it feels like it isn’t working.  Adding the smaller baby, cyst, tiredness, frustration over not being able to eat what I want, and pregnancy emotions, it’s making me weepy and emotional.  I guess this too shall pass.

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Ch-ch-changes (or however that old song went)

July 11, 2011 at 5:59 pm (diabetes, life)

Hi webs.  I took a short break because we were moving and didn’t have internet.  I’ve missed the internet quite a bit and have been using my phone but it is really not the same. We should have regular internet later this week (thank God, and I don’t say that lightly).  So we moved on Saturday, July 2nd and tried to settle in on the 3rd, but somethung really big happened on the 4th.  We found out that…..
we are going to be parents sometime around March 13th! Our first monthe trying for a family worked! We told parents on the 9th and everybody else since then. 🙂
Now for the scary part: I make no secret of the fact that I am diabetic.  It doesn’t normally affect me too much (just sore fingers) but it is a huge thing to be dibetic and pregnant…wow.  My sugar levels have to be checked at least 4 times a day and I have an appointment today and I have already been warned that I will leave with insulin…yup, needles and injections. Not fun.    But I have already realized I will do anyything for this little person who I haven’t met yet, who is only known to us as Ducky.  Absolutely anything.

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Wedding?

June 28, 2011 at 6:38 pm (Intro, life, wedding) (, , , )

Hey y’all.  I love posting on weddingbee.com, and I am definitely a lurker over there, but lately it hasn’t let me post.  😦  This is hard because there is such a sense of masquerade, well, rather anonymity.  I can be me but don’t know anybody over there in real life.  I’ve linked to this blog in my facebook (once!) and would love to have friends or family follow, but I konw nobody does yet, and I know it’s my fault because I don’t promote it.  I’m not sure if I am ready for all of this of me to be out there for everybody.  Hmmm….

Anyways, I saw absolutely all of that to say that I never recapped our wedding.  Hubs and I had a wonderful wedded day and I wanted to recap some of the day for the blog-o-sphere. So let them commence!

We were wed on December 19, 2009 in Scotts Valley, CA at New Hope Church.  Our rehearsal was on the Thursday preceding and our dinner was held at Cafe Carlos (which was amazing!).  I had two  ladies stand up with me and Hubs had 4 groomsmen. I originally had 2 maids-of-honor and 2 bridesmaids, but drama ensued.  ugh. How about some pictures?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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It’s almost noon and I’m still in my jammies.

June 27, 2011 at 6:57 pm (family, life) (, , )

Happy Summer! Even though school let out two weeks ago, today is my first day to relax!  I’m not up at Mom’s house helping her unpack, and I am not rushing to work, but that’s okay.  Let me give you an update on what’s been happening in my life:

Mom is all moved! For the first time ever she has her own place that she doesn’t have to share with anybody.  This is a huge thing for my mom and I am so proud of her.

We’re moving!  We found an awesome condo over in Concord, had some drama, got a lease signed, and now the packing commences.  Oh boy.  I really do hate moving, but it will make Hubs’ commute go from an hour to 25 minutes.  Plus, it is close enough that we can go to our church still.  Yay.

I’ve a new/old job.  I am back working for my textbook company.  My old boss was so excited to have me back and to be honest, I needed her enthusiasm.  It was so different from what I’ve been feeling from others lately.  I’ve gotten really discouraged about work lately, but this makes things a lot better.  Also, there is a huge amount of flexibility so I can work when I want to and all will be well.

Money is TIGHT.  Ugh.  Paying a month’s rent on two apartments, but the security deposit means that there are no splurges happening right now.  That being said, clipping coupons and seeing how much I have to spend (or not spend) is like a game to me.  My current goal is to get groceries for this week for under $25, and based on talking to Hubs, we need quite a bit.

My mom is coming for a brief visit.  She comes down a few times a year, but this time is significant because we are trying to get her together with hubs’ parents too.  The last time they were together was at the wedding, which was over a year and a half ago.  We are hoping that a late Friday dinner will work, if not, we will aim for a Saturday brunch.  This is super important to us right now…tell you why soon.

So there’s my life in a nutshell.  God is faithful, and though our worlds may fall apart a bit, Hubs and I are holding on tight to God and his plans for us.

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You say toe-may-toe…

June 17, 2011 at 11:49 pm (life) (, , )

You say toe-may-toe.  I say ewwww.  Ok, so this post isn’t about tomatoes (which are gross), rather it is about apartments.

Lately Hubs and I have been looking for a new apartment.  Usually I do most of the search for apartments or whatever else we need, but with work lately, I just can’t keep doing that.  Lately though, I have been telling Hubs that he needs to help.  I will look on craigslist.com and find 4 or 5 that I like and then let him vet those few and get ahold of the people.  This may mean that he calls/emails all 4 or 5, or none.  I was feeling really bad about this because I felt that I was making him do so much of the work, but he totally surprised me a few days ago.  Hubs grabbed me and told me “Than you for encouraging me to do more of this.”  ummm…..anytime?!?!?

Just when I was beating myself up for not doing more and having him take over, he tells me that he likes doing more.  This really made me feel so much better.  I love how God does this for us sometimes.  Just when life gets to be so very much, He reassures us that it’s all a-okay.  Be encouraged folks!

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